Everyday Yana Jenay


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I Said I'd Never Start a Blog...


I remember where I was when I said it. 

I was standing in between the kitchen and the hallway of my best friend’s home. 

“I’ll never start a blog!”

I said it with such clarity and authority that my homie didn’t say a word in response. 

However, looking back on it, I think that was her wise way of silently saying, “I’ll give it some time. She’ll come around.”

Well, some time has passed and here I am “coming around” and starting a blog. 

But! ☝🏾

Before I (we) jump into it, I feel the need to share with you three reasons why I was so adamant about not starting a blog and the one reason why I finally am.

WHY NAH...

(1) A LOT OF WOMEN BLOG. Like a lot. Probs too many. And though I’m not interested in being yet another blogger taking up space on the internet, I'm also not interested in participating in a trend that may be reflective of a very disappointing reality. Think about it - Have you ever wondered why so many women are blogging? Yes, we are dope communicators. Yes, we are creatives that have something significant to say. But, I wonder if many women have flocked to blogging because they feel unheard. Unheard on their jobs. Unheard in their churches. Maybe even in their homes. They need an outlet. If this is true, then I fear the spaces where these unheard women live are suffering.  And, I’m not interested in encouraging this trend as the normative way that women assert their voices. 

(2) WHO CARES WHAT I HAVE TO SAY? It’s very rare that I’ll take a selfie. If that’s your thing, please continue to bless the gram with your beautiful face. However, for me, posting selfies is an outworking of my desire to be seen, admired, and desired. I fear, for me, that starting a blog could function like a selfie, just one of words. 

(3) SELF-DOUBT. This year a therapist informed me that I suffered from a condition called self-doubt. Yeah, it’s a condition. A paralyzing one. It's not quite like low self-esteem, which is mostly rooted in comparison and the perceptions of others. Instead, self-doubt is rooted in an inability to see and accept what’s actually true of you. For years, dear friends of mine have encouraged me to write. And, even though I be busting A’s on my seminary papers, I still struggle to think that I’m good enough to call myself a writer.  

WHY NOW…

STEWARDSHIP. Often times, when I’m in my car, I get these ideas. Maybe a song on the radio sparks it, a conversation I had with a friend earlier that week (that I’m processing for the 15th time), or something interesting I overheard in a coffee shop. Wherever they come from, they just come. Do you know what I say when they come? I say, “Man, that would make a good blog post, somebody should write about that.” Then one day, while I was in my car listening to Chaka Khan’s I’m Every Woman, an idea sparked. Before I could think the words “somebody should…”, the Holy Spirit interjected and asked, “When are you going to steward these ideas?” 

 

For me, this is a matter of stewardship. A stewardship of ideas and thoughts that are often stirred within the confines of my two door Honda Civic, Pearl. So, here I am starting a blog. I hope that you will join me for the ride. Next week, we will begin with the song that set this all in motion.