Everyday Yana Jenay

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Confession:

I’m Triflin’

One of my least favorite sounds is the one that greets me every morning to let me know it is time to get up. Yep, you guessed it! It’s my alarm clock. Even though I’m usually awake before it goes off, I still groan and hit the snooze button before it gets too loud.

Unfortunately, my spiritual life has been like this lately. My spiritual alarm system goes off to say, “Yana Jenay, It’s time to wake up and start acting like a person who actually knows Jesus,” only for me to hit snooze before conviction gets too loud. The groans of my heart sound like,

Ughhh, I’ll have a conversation with the Lord about that later…

Ughhh, I don’t feel like thinking all deep about sin right now…

Ughhh, Can I just be great?

Yep, I’m triflin’! Just trrrriiiifffliiin… Because, here’s the thing, on some level, I knew I was wrong. I knew conviction was coming. I knew at some point, the Holy Spirit, who lives inside of me, would come for me. At some point, He wouldn’t continue to give me “just five more minutes. Instead, He would call out to me...

“Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead...” (Ephesians 5:13).

And though I was initially unresponsive to His call, I’m so thankful He persisted in convicting me.

Conviction. It is the Lord’s grace to me. It is the Lord’s grace to you. It is His way of not delivering us over to our sinful desires and instead calling us home. It is His way of ensuring we are not held captive by lies and habits that never truly satisfy. It is He way of redirecting us to the One who holds all the wonders of life in His hands and delights in satisfying all who come to Him. Conviction. It is good.

Father, forgive me putting off confession and repentance in the spirit of wanting to “live my best life”…

Father, forgive me for using mental fatigue as an excuse to put off a conversation about the vitality of my soul…

Father, forgive me for failing to believe, “You are my Lord; I have nothing good apart from You” (Psalm 16:2)...

AND

Father, thank You that Your love never fails, never runs out, and  never gives up on me. You, like, really love me!

Holy Spirit, thank You for living inside of me and continuously calling me back to what is good!

Christ, thank You for so many things, but in this particular moment, thank You for this truth…

“Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens — Jesus the Son of God — let us hold fast to our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness, but one who has been tempted in every way as we are, yet without sin. Therefore, let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Hebrew 4:14-16).